-
Tech NewsGiz AsksCould Brain Implants Ever Make Telekinesis Possible?
Today, when you see an eerie child lift a toy with its mind in some hackneyed ‘80s-horror homage, you can be reasonably certain that kid is supposed to be special in some way. A hundred years from now, that might not translate. A hundred years from now, kids of all kinds—fictional and non-fictional; eerie and … Continued
-
Tech NewsGiz AsksCan AI-Generated Text Be Funny?
What’s worse: a future in which the robots turn against us or a future filled with robot stand-up comedians? Regular stand-up comedians are bad enough; I don’t need a robot asking me to go to their standup show all the time. Luckily, today, robotic murder technology is far more advanced than robotic laughter technology; the … Continued
-
Tech NewsGiz AsksCould Someone Hack My Microchip Implant?
These are, absolutely, very bleak times, but in a sense we should cherish them: we’re living through maybe the last stretch of history before employers start mandating microchips en masse. You’re going to miss living in fear of contracting a deadly virus, once HR brings out the scalpel—and then you’re going to miss the day … Continued
-
Tech NewsGiz AsksWhy Are VR Headsets So Bulky?
Show me someone who looks cool in a VR headset, and I’ll show you a dork with no aesthetic sense. Largely, this has to do with their bulk: as consumer tech continues to shrink, they stubbornly remain massive, looking less like portals into hyper-real alternate dimensions and more like large futuristic sea animals devouring their … Continued
-
Tech NewsGiz AsksHow Can I Live a More Phone-Free Life?
It is the rare person who—logging off after a long day’s scrolling—thinks, “I need much more of that in my life.” Because the thing about the internet is, it’s awful. Even the good parts suck, because the good parts are swirled in with the bad—you can’t access one without wading through the other. Often, the … Continued
-
Tech NewsGiz AsksWhat Would Happen If All Personal Data Leaked at Once?
Subconsciously, on some level, we’re all waiting for it: the leak that wrecks society and confirms what we all know already, namely that the mass transfer of our inmost secrets/shames to Facebook, Google, et. al. was never not going to end in flames. Who among us will emerge looking halfway human, let alone “good,” when … Continued
-
Tech NewsGiz AsksWhat Will Post-Coronavirus Social Life Really Be Like?
How many sentences, since March, have started with the words “when all this is over”? Billions, probably, but fewer of late, as each of us reckons with the fact that this will never be over, not really. Psychologically, economically—we’re wrecked. A vaccine will certainly help, but it can only fix so much. Already I can … Continued
-
Tech NewsGiz AsksAre We Already Living in a Tech Dystopia?
For the most part, fictional characters rarely recognize when they’re trapped in a dystopia. Watching their neighbors get carted off for harboring subversive thoughts, they almost never say, “I wish we weren’t living in this dystopia.” To them, that dystopia is just life. Which suggests that—were we, at this moment, living in a dystopia ourselves—we … Continued
-
EartherWhat Would Happen if We Burned All the Fossil Fuels?
Picture bogs swarming with plant-life, oceans teeming with life, dinosaurs roaming the Earth. Picture those plants and animals dying, and over the course of 300 million years, becoming coal, oil, and gas through a complex series of processes beneath the soil. Fast forward to the present and now see the vast, Earth-wrecking machinery extracting those … Continued
Daniel Kolitz & Brian Kahn -
Tech NewsGiz AsksWhy Are There Roaches Inside My Computer?
There are some things that belong in a computer. Wires, chips, whirring mechanical doodads—what most of us would think of, sensibly, as “hard drive stuff.” Absent from this list—absent from most lists, except those dealing with repugnant, six-legged disease vectors—are cockroaches. A cockroach in a hard drive? That is simply not where a cockroach is … Continued
-
Tech NewsGiz AsksHow Do I Stop Tapping My Foot, Biting My Nails, or Twirling My Hair?
Remember offices? Assuming that you do, and that you at some point worked in one, you’ve likely spent at least some time itemizing your colleagues’ annoying/conspicuous habits, or having your annoying/conspicuous habits itemized. Every ostensible workplace meeting is at the same time a showcase for a wide range of half-conscious behaviors including but not limited … Continued
-
Tech NewsGiz AsksWhat Did People Use Before Google to Search the Web?
The year is 1997. You’re wearing whatever people wore back then—some kind of jean jacket, I’m guessing—and talking to your friend about your new favorite movie, the recently released Mike Myers vehicle Austin Powers. You’re quoting the movie, and your friend thinks this is hilarious. Then things take a dark turn. “I thought Randy Quaid … Continued
-
Tech NewsGiz AsksWhat’s the Best Human Brain Alternative for Hungry Zombies?
Let’s say you’re a zombie. You’re lumbering around, doing your zombie-mumble, and just ten feet ahead you see a living human being. Your first impulse, of course, is to head over there and eat their brain. And you’re about to do just that, when suddenly you feel a pang of something like shame. You remember, … Continued
-
Tech NewsGiz AsksIs There a Way to Cure or Prevent Nightmares?
Are you spending your sleeping hours getting chased down endless hallways by men with enormous claws for hands? Shrieking in pain as wolves chomp your legs? Re-experiencing various traumatic incidents from your childhood from the vantage point of a ghost, forced to watch the same disasters play out over and over again with no ability … Continued
-
Tech NewsGiz AsksCould Teleporting Ever Work?
Have the major airlines spent decades suppressing teleportation research? Have a number of renowned scientists in the field of teleportation studies disappeared under mysterious circumstances? Is there a cork board at the FBI linking Delta Airlines, shady foreign security firms, and dozens of murdered research professors? Is that investigation being suppressed internally by an agent … Continued
-
Tech NewsGiz AsksDo Animals Practice Revenge?
Over the years, we at Giz Asks have probed countless aspects of animal behavior and psychology. Which animal is the horniest? The filthiest? The most inclined towards monogamy? Which one kills the most people? Do any of them exercise? And so on. Today, we extend this venerable tradition with a new question, one sure to … Continued
-
Tech NewsGiz AsksWhat Technology Has Accidentally Killed the Most People?
Show me a museum of important historical inventors and I will show you a gallery of deluded mass murderers. I’m not talking about machine gun manufacturers or nuclear scientists—those people, at least, have some sense of what they’re up to. I’m talking about the folks behind the printing press, the automobile, various kinds of boat … Continued
-
Tech NewsGiz AsksWhy Don’t Workers Get Paid in Equity Like CEOs Do?
Most workers have no ownership stake in the companies to which they give their labor. This is, if you ask me, not ideal. But I’m not a CEO. If I was a CEO, I’d probably feel this was just as things should be, and would be able to justify this feeling with various statistics, theories, … Continued
-
Tech NewsGiz AsksWhy Do My Selfies Look So Weird?
It’s a fraught thing, selfie-taking. One moment you’re thinking of yourself as more or less human-looking, and then—click—you realize you’ve got it all wrong, and that strangers on the street probably pity you, on account of your dead eyes and strange head. Or you see, on your phone, a perfectly normal-looking person who just happens … Continued
Daniel Kolitz
Daniel Kolitz's posts
